There are now 3 days left until school! I've finally taken a closer look at my English and Psychology essay (though I haven't written more than 1-3 sentences). They're hard. The psychology essay seems like something you'd write at the end of the course after learning everything. My brother even said that the essay prompt seems harder than the FRQs on the AP exam. And English is, well, always hard for me. I can't tell you how many times this summer I've asked myself why in the world I am in AP. But whenever I say this aloud, my brother tells me it's basically the same as A-level, just more writing. But I think more writing is reason enough to drop down a level. But for every AP/Honors class, you're required to sign a letter of commitment saying you won't drop it and do the work, whatever...

[EDIT] So it's 9:17 PM on the day night before school. I've barely started both of my essays, but yet I've been doing homework all day. AP Chem is taking forever. I mean forever!!! Breda needs some talking to... -punches palm- Anyways, I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight. I'm kinda looking forward to tomorrow now even though (below). It would mean I'm done with my summer homework... ugh, well 14 problems to go (problems that are like parts a-v, so it's really more than that) and 6 pages for my two essays (total, not each, thank God). And the impossible Enling Enlish English (yes, I forgot how to spell it -braindead-) worksheet I started at the beginning of the summer. I think I've learned my lesson with summer homework. (HA!) Well, we won't know for sure if I did because next summer I won't be having any!!! A first in 4 years.[/EDIT]

[EDIT2] 2:36 AM. I am dead. 1 page more for Psychology, 2.5 more for English. No, I haven't finished the godawful Chemistry. It's really hard, I don't think I can do the rest. There won't be time to work on that lone worksheet either. Let's hope homeroom is nice and LONG. Lol, I use to hate that it was so long. I was so bored. I finally remembered to get a book, but now I gotta do homework during the time.[/EDIT2]

Ugh, so I've moved here about 3 years ago this March. Yet, I really don't have any friends here. I went through a phase of depression in my first semester of 10th grade because I wasn't adjusting, making friends, and I missed my old ones so bad. What added to it was sitting alone at lunch. It just about killed me everyday. I dropped lunch to take an extra class 2nd semester, and then all of 11th grade to keep myself from going back into that depression. But there's really no class to take this year. I thought I'd be able to sit with this girl I talk to a lot (at least compared to others, but I don't consider her a friend), with the risk of looking pathetic and following her around like a puppy dog. We should've had the same lunch, what with taking a lot of the same courses, but the Academy moved around its courses for this year. Everyone has E period lunch, but I, having to be all nerdy, am a year ahead in math. So I finished Calculus last year, leaving only Statistics available which is now E period this year.

I sound like a freak saying I don't have just one person to sit with at lunch, but I'm not. In Florida, I transferred in the middle of the 6th grade as well (around the same time, in fact) and not once did I have to sit alone. Not even when, after a week, some arrogant girl kicked me out of the table. I found someone else the next day. Then, in 7th grade, having realized that 2nd girl I sat with in 6th grade wasn't much of a friend (who wasn't even in my lunch period anyways), I had no one again. But yet, somehow, I found 2 girls to sit with, and then became close friends with one. I even invited a new girl who was sitting alone to start sitting with us. She also became a close friend.

I'm know I'm a shy person, but I think I'm less than I had been in Florida (it just doesn't seem like it in the later years of middle school because I was always with my friends at school, and thus, more comfortable). Some northerners, themselves, have said that they seem more cold and less open and friendly than southerners. Such a nice thing for shy people. I've also noticed that they're a lot more judgmental.

So, now, I'm even more stressed. I've got to finish all my summer homework in 3 days, study for SATs I and II, visit colleges, and apply to them. I haven't even decided on a major yet. And now there's the knowledge I'm going to be sitting alone again. Maybe, if I sat at an empty table, some people would sit with me (it happened to my brother), but the class before my lunch is on the other side of campus. I'll be one of the last ones there, and probably have to awkwardly sit at someone else's table. My lunch period is the last lunch period of the day. What are the chances I'll find someone to sit with in the first 6 periods when I haven't in the past 3 years?

New affiliates: Kenzie & Bianca

College is killing me. I'm so stressed about the little amount of action I've taken towards it. I haven't studied for SATs I and II at all, visited colleges, and applied for scholarships. I basically have to relearn Chemistry for the subject tests. This was why I applied for AP Physics for junior year instead of Chem. So I could take the Physics subject SAT beginning of my senior year after taking the class. But, I didn't end up with that class... or any AP science. So now I've got to take the Chemistry subject test, relying on what I learned in Honors Chem sophomore year. On top of that, I had a horrible teacher; there are some things she "taught" that I never understood one bit, and now I'm on my own to learn it for the subject test in a few months. That's why people who took A-level Chemistry (a notch below Honors) understood more than the Honors kids when they went into AP Chemistry. I probably would have gotten into Physics too, if I took the A-level class because I would've earned a higher grade. There was a rumor that the Honors teacher was going to teach AP Chemistry this year. Thank God, it's not true. I'd fail the AP exam. I feel sorry for her, she's actually a really nice person. She fought for me to get into AP Physics and then during the appeals (thought she does have a vendetta against some, just not lovable me). And she knows her stuff, unlike so many other teachers in the country, she just can't teach it.

There are 10 days until school starts!!!!! I don't think I have time to do any of the above with all the summer homework I've still got left. Ugh, I'm such a horrible procrastinator. I resent those who manage their time so well and then spend their extra time over-achieving.

Yesterday I got my annual haircut. I just got side bangs and had it cut shorter, but it's not exactly how I want it. Like the tips of my hair wasn't kept thinned and like, I dunno, jagged. I don't know hair. Whenever I get my haircut, they never do that. I guess I should tell them or something. When I went to a Vietnamese salon last year, they cut it how I wanted, and I didn't have to tell them. The salon was in Minnesota, and it was nice. They were very careful. And shampoo, blow dry, straightening were all included in the price. Last year I got highlights too, so I don't know how much an individual haircut is, but I got all of those for $40. That's a good price, right? This was another reason I wanted to go to Minnesota this year: new clothes + new haircut done right.

I've went shopping again today and got 5 shirts. Still haven't gotten any new jeans. I went with my mom again, but it was basically shopping alone because my brother had to get new clothes too and baby Louis can't shop by himself. I also finally got a new purse. I bought it at one of the stands/kiosk/thing in the mall, you know? It's like my current purse, but a bit bigger and a different color, and I hate my purse. But I can never find one I even remotely like so I just got this one in case I can't find a better one for a long while.

Oh, and Half-Blood Prince being delayed? Yeah, ruined my life. HBP is my favorite of the series. And, you know what? Twilight took it's Nov 21 spot. STOP TRYING TO BE THE NEXT HARRY POTTER. Grr. I only started feeling this passion when I learned it took HP's spot. And now I've just learned that there's Twi-Rock too? -scoffs-

I missed out on the library job. They stopped taking applications when I asked for one. So there goes that job. The only places left to work in my town are grocery stores. I really would rather not work there. I guess I have to look farther.

Who's pumped for the new season of Heroes?! It's in like a month and a 1/2 now or something... sometime in September, anyhow. Also coming out very soon is the new The Academy Is... album (Aug 19)!!!!. I've listened to some on their Myspace, it sounds great. The next Sims 2 expansion back (apartment life) comes out Aug 27 (also my first day of school... ah!). There's also Brisingr, the 3rd in the Inheritance Trilogy (Sept 20). Though I guess it's not a trilogy anymore since Paolini is planning a 4th book. I use to really like Eragon, but now I'm older and can see that it's not very talented writing. But I'd say it's still impressive for a 15 year old. But Eldest wasn't much of an improvement and he was older. I still keep up with the series though, being a fantasy lover. I've also watched the movie more than once. All because of Murtagh ♥ ♥. I hope he'll be a hero in Brisingr like Severus ♥.

Yesterday I went school supply shopping. I always get pumped for that but I only bought folders and 1 single-subject notebook. You don't really need so many different supplies for high school. You need a writing instrument, something to store handouts and something to write notes in. The End. xP But it'll be fun next year, shopping for college.

Then, today, I went new-school-clothes shopping. I didn't get much, I just went to Macy's and JCP's. My mom whines about being hungry and tired if I go to even more stores. It's really annoying, especially when you've been yelled at for supposedly doing the same when it was her doing the shopping. Since she keeps yelling at me for that, I don't do it anymore, leaving her the only one complaining now. Even then, I swear I didn't complain as much as her. All I did then was just ask how longer she is going to be and she starts yelling already. If I point that out, I'd be on the receiving end of even worse screaming. And she's always far more dramatic. She told me about 5 times today that she's about to faint from hunger and exhaustion. Ugh. I need to start shopping by myself. Today, along with her whining, she kept repeatedly yelling at me for not bringing a purse. (Just all of a sudden, she brings it up again and again and again.) I don't think it's a big deal not to carry a purse. Especially when you're with a parent anyways.

At JCP, I saw this beautiful Arizona messenger bag. Like every year they release a new one, and they're nicer and nicer. I bought one of them 2 years ago, so I dunno if I should spend the money on this new one. Especially when I haven't used it much in the first place. I ended up accumulating too much stuff a few months into school to fit in the bag. Plus it's harder when you're carrying everything on one shoulder in a bag that keeps bumping into your legs when you walk and there's a lot of walking at The Academy.

What a pity we didn't get to Minnesota this year. Apparently, it's because of my brother. My mom's ridiculously worried he won't have enough time to learn to drive before leaving for college (lazy asshole waited till the last minute). She thinks she can't even take a week break from teaching him . Anyways, I wanted to go so I can get lots of new clothes at Mall of America. And this way, I'd probably be shopping with my younger cousin (going to be a freshman, haha, little tyke), though still annoying, would be better than my mom. Even if I was still stuck with her (I doubt though), it'd be me, her, my 2 cousins, and my aunt who would keep her happy and not yelling at me for every little thing.

I think I'm stuck with this laptop. I don't think its refundable, especially when my dad opened the box and set it up right away (probably to make sure we don't return it). Unless I sell it right now on eBay (still would have to go for as a used computer) I won't make much money back. But there's no way I would be allowed to. I can sell when I move away, he wouldn't catch me until it's too late, but by then, I'd be making less than half back. So I'm stuck with this laptop. Right now it's not so bad, but the weight of this plus my books? Ugh. Plus the Gateway had a longer battery life, which would've been nice. By the way, it's on sale again: $150 off. [EDIT] Now it's $200 off! Unbelievable, it's only $50 more than the one I got.[/EDIT] I told my dad, I got yelled at for complaining. I think I should be the one who gets mad, he's the one who made the decision without me. Now my mom says it's my fault for telling him I wanted a laptop for my birthday because I should've known.

[EDIT] I'm 17 now!! [/EDIT]

I found out there's an opening for a page at the library. I'm thinking of applying for it. But I don't know if I will get it. It's not like Wal-Mart or the grocery store; they're looking for just one person. I may be a good student at school but I am not active at all. I've never done volunteer work and barely any extra-curriculars. That doesn't seem very impressive at all... My resume (if they require one, probably will) will be almost empty. Plus, there's an interview too. And since I've never worked, never done an interview. Well, I had an interview to get into Calculus BC... or was it Precalc Honors? Cuz our school is freakin crazy with letting people into an AP/Honors class. But anyways, I don't think it's quite the same. And I probably did bad for that interview anyways. I don't even have an outfit for it. I have a full-on business suit (FBLA!) which is a bit over the top for it... I don't know. But blah I take rejection badly.

I wonder how many people would apply for it... we are a very large town. At least they're looking for a teen so I'm not competing against any adults. Haha. Anyways, the library's already closed for the weekend and apparently they're going to start interviewing "next week" so I'm guessing Monday. So who knows if I'm not even too late? I don't think it'd look very impressive turning in an application at the last minute.

Guess what I'm on right now? A laptop. My dad has a tendency to buy things without anyone's consent whenever they mention wanting something tech-related. Since he's all, "I won't buy anything unless you go to Washington" I didn't think he'd do it again. He's done this for my desktop computer and digital camera. Oh, and there's this little side-detail: they suck. He always goes for things he thinks is a good deal.

Anyways, I guess this laptop isn't horrible but the one I chose out is better. So I have no idea what's going to happen to this laptop. Everyone (but my dad, of course) wants to return it. This is a 15.4" laptop, and I want a 14.1" for portability since the whole point of getting a laptop was for traveling during college. But other than that I guess the laptop fits my needs... but... 14.1"! I think the Gateway I picked has a better battery life too, which is another important detail for traveling.

Speaking of the Gateway I want... I've been meaning to check up on it often for sales but whenever I remember, I'm not on the computer. So, guess what? Of course, it was on sale just last week (or maybe even less!). $150 off!!!!!!!! And I missed out on it. It's now back at $800. I'm killing myself over missing this! I might've beaten my dad to getting a laptop if I found that. I don't know when he ordered this laptop (unless he bought it at the store, I don't even know). He's always just surprises you with something new but it's never good. He won't say how much this laptop costs. Probably because we can easily find better ones at that price. We always do. He's so weird with what he chooses to buy. Oh yeah, and definitely impulsive.

My dad says fine, I can get the Gateway if I go to Washington. And there it is again. I am so not going to Washington. My dad's plan with this laptop is to give it to my brother and my brother's laptop to himself. But it's a waste of money. My brother can do just fine with the laptop he's got (even if it is crappy, oh, and btw, he surprised us with that too) and my dad doesn't need one. He's already got a company one and he doesn't need a laptop for anything but work. My brother said he doesn't need this laptop (he built his own desktop just a matter of months ago, so he can use that for his gaming) so why keep it? Let's return it before it's too late and wait again for that Gateway to go on sale (I hope so!!!). But we probably won't. We never do. But really, when I get one, it'll be 3 laptops, then. Plus each of us have got our own desktop computers too. It's a little ridiculous.

By the way, you know what my dad says now? Now he says he's not paying for any college but Washington. That if I'm planning to go to another college, I better pick one that's giving me a full ride. He's an asshole. There, I said it. To chose not to help pay for his child's tuition when he's capable? When he's paying for my brother's? Since he's been threatening to divorce my mom, I don't know if she will have the control over him to have him help pay for my college. So I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe we will stop talking after I move out. We barely talk now. Anyone of us, me, my brother, my mom. If they ever separated, my brother and I would've chosen my mom. I guess it doesn't matter for my brother though, he's moving out in mid-September. I think he's waiting til both of us move out though. But I think it will happen eventually. Maybe it'll be just him who moves to Washington.